Thursday, April 21, 2005


Monitoring is really boring. Especially when your kids take 3 hours to take a test. Oh wait, 3 hours and 45 minutes. And what do I have to show for monitoring, monitoring, monitoring? May I present to you Anything but the Test: A Guide To Procrastination During A Standardized Test.

1. Examine pencil. Discover every groove, study the eraser, and pick at the stray pieces near the tip.
2. Stare at ceiling. Study every punctuation or dirty spot on ceiling tiles.
3. Study room. Everything in the room is covered with purple butcher paper, so just study the purple paper like it's floating or something.
4. Study hair. Hold hair pieces in front of face or run fingers over one strand, over and over and over.
5. Pop neck, back, fingers about 10 million times.
6. Nod head up and down in rhythm with silent song playing in your head. Nod your head so hard that your green and blue pigtails swing back and forth. Grin sheepishly when I glare at you for distracting others.
7. Play with your bright red sandals. Let a sandal dangle off your toes. Set the shoe down, run your toe carefully around the rim, and then dangle again.
8. If you are a boy sitting near Red Sandal Girl, watch her foot with hormone-induced interest.
9. If you are the hefty boy sitting in back row, try to cross your eyes by staring at pencil in front of your face.
10. If you are Strange Bird sitting near the aisle, try to write on your skin in pencil by tracing a heart over and over and over.

Sorry reader, but this post is giving me flashbacks and now I'm bored. I'm outtie five thou. But when I return, I shall write about my students insisting on buying me an alcoholic beverage. It's strange and disconcerting.


Blogger Polski3 said...

Fun post ! I have also observed:

How-Low-con-U-Go ? How far can you slouch down in your desk before you slide off ?

BONGO. HOW many *&^%in times can you drum on your desk with pencil or hands before teacher promises you severe punishment for disrupting the test?

The Pee-Pee Dance. The twisting and squirming while seated in the desk and YOU REALLY HAFTA PEE...

Make a Word: How many words can you make by creatively bubbling in test answers?

SLAMIN DESK....In the quiet of the testing room, can you push over the empty desk in front of you by just using your feet?

WE do state testing 3 days a week for the next two weeks....oh joy.

7:29 PM  

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