Thursday, May 12, 2005

Attention Students!

Our first final will arrive with a menacing presence in exactly one week. You still have time to turn in work for the late grade of 50. However, you may NOT make up work if you meet the conditions below:

1. You have not attended my class in literally two months.
2. You have a zero. Even if you complete 18 assignments with grades of 50, you will still fail. Especially since you flunked the test and chose not to re-do it.

Please do not get your mom, your aunt, dad, cousin, sister, or best friend to contact me. Feel free to get your counselor to call me, because when I explain the situation she/he will most likely side with me.

If you are a senior, you may get exempt from your final if you meet the district requirements. You may NOT, however,

1. scream and cuss when you realize you have too many absences
2. try to bribe me to change the grade
3. ask me to sign off for volunteer make-up hours that you didn't do

You may threaten that you are "not going to take the final anyway" because I find it hilarious that you are willing to jeopardize your graduation status because of an elective.

I'm lying. I don't find it hilarious. I find it ludicrous.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Resignation or coping mechanism?

I've learned to shrug off the Ridiculous. Some things you can't change, no matter how serious they are. For example, they've broken in to my school twice in the last week. Last night my room was part of the Break-In Scandal of 2005. I'm not the only victim, they broke into several other rooms on the first and second floor. Last night they didn't take anything from my room or from other rooms in my hall. They pushed a small fridge out of an English teacher's window and left it on the roof. I'd be seriously pissed if someone ruined my food. That shit is sacred. But, in MH's room, the only disruption was broken glass and a Chuckie footprint (we always called them Converse). The most hilarious aspect of my break-in is that THE WINDOWS WERE UNLOCKED. Either these kids like breaking things or are too stupid to test the windows. I honestly believe the latter.
The interesting thing about this break-in fiasco is that we are the only campus in the district that does not have a security camera system and we have no security system for our classrooms. Makes sense, huh? The scary thing is that the kids are learning this, as one of my kids said today, "Wait, didn't the alarm system go off?" He just returned from prison today and his eyes gleamed with comprehension.
The fact that our campus has the highest rate of theft in the district but no security cameras is Ridiculous. It just is.

Today I sent a kid down to the library, trusting her to use the computers in peace. I should have known better; this kid has a serious mouth on her. She came back a little embarrassed and mock-proud, announcing that she cussed out the librarians and told them to "shut they mouths." "Sweetheart,"I said earnestly, "Why do you think you can go around telling adults to shut their mouths? I know your mama doesn't let you talk to adults like that...does she?" My darling student admitted that her mother does not, in fact, allow her to talk rudely in her presence. But this kid gets away with murder because people just don't want to deal with it. The attitude does get tiring, as adorable as she can be. The kid wears you down.

Apparently the librarian said to her, "Leave and don't come back...ever!" My student whipped around and said, with all her sass,"Oh I'll be back. You can't get rid of me!" Haha. I don't know why I find that so funny. Like the kid is dying to go to the library or something.

Monday, May 09, 2005

freaked out

a contar has freaked me out. she included information about a woman who lost her job from blogging. i'm a little paranoid in general and now i'm going to have a meltdown. then again, my blog is not as "expressive" and "detailed" as the dooced blogger.
originally i began blogging because i wanted to vent about the classroom and share my experiences. i also wanted to gain advice from other teachers, whether experienced or new. i chose the name Madhatter because my kids constantly remark on how "crazy" i am and i'm a very fast paced person with a bit of ADD. i'd like to mention that i did not choose my name because i'm high on drugs (apparently the madhatter was based on the maxim "mad as a hatter," because hat makers went mad from the mercury involved in the hat making process).

i'm rambling because i'm nervous. i'm freaking out via the internet. what's a blogger to do?