Thursday, May 26, 2005


whew! school is out. i have the rest of today, tomorrow, and the weekend before i start back up. professional development calls (sounds more like screeching) and summer school begins. now that i don't have a gozillion things to do, i thought i'd answer my CHALLENGE. cuz i'm a hollaback girl. i must warn you that i'm a tad delirious because i just finished today. so, read on with caution. and only if you want to read my ramblings about my secret selves.

if I could be a scientist...If I could be a farmer...If I could be a musician...If I could be a doctor...If I could be a painter...If I could be a gardener...If I could be a missionary...If I could be a chef...If I could be an architect...If I could be a linguist...If I could be a psychologist...If I could be a librarian...If I could be an athlete...If I could be a lawyer...If I could be an inn-keeper...If I could be a professor...If I could be a writer...If I could be a llama-rider...If I could be a bonnie pirate...If I could be an astronaut...If I could be a world famous blogger...If I could be a justice on any one court in the world...If I could be married to any current famous political figure...

if i could be a doctor i would work in one of those clinics that serves the underserved. i'm serious, i really would. i always feel like i don't contribute enough and maybe i could give the gift of health. in reality, i abhor certain parts of the body, like scalps and spines, and i'm squeamish with other people's blood. my blood doesn't really gross me out, but when my students run to me with bleeding scabs and such i can't cope.

if i could be a professor....i'd be a bilingual, or trilingual, professor who teaches about women in latin american countries. my classes would address social policies, social histories, and economic policies that affect latin america with an emphasis on women. oh, and the relationship between the us and latin america would be important. and sometimes while teaching i'd just start speaking spanish but everyone would understand me. i'd have a small office decorated with native pictures and memorabilias from different south american countries. i'd be learning the mayan language on the side but i wouldn't tell people because i'd be very shy about my endeavor. my smaller classes would be discussion oriented with lots of papers. i'd grade my papers with a trademark colored pen that's chewed at the tip because i do have an oral fixation. and i'd be a really nice professor and not pretentious.

or, i'd be a professor who's totally into critical theory mixed with urban studies and diversity issues. i'd be kind of crazy (madhatterish) but only because i'd be brilliant (hey, it's my dream). i'd be one of those professors who has a million projects on the side but still, somehow, finds time for her students. i'd be very loving and have a robust laugh. my standards for my students would be very high. they'd read and write a lot...and take trips around the city to put theory into action.

if i could be an architect i'd be in charge of renovating old buildings in europe. and i'd get to stay in europe. a lot.

if i could be a judge or politician's wife (wife? i'd just be a politician) i'd have a lot to do. i'd be like the critical theory professor and the doctor, except i'd have the law and some political power on my side.

if i could be a painter i'd have awesome artwork on my walls and not this crap that i tacked up because i can't look at the bare off-white paint any longer. plus, i'd have a real artsy side and my apartment would actually look shabby sheik instead of just shabby. it's a slow process people.

his is the first non-education blog that i can remember in a long time. i hope i did this exercise appropriately. this reminds me of playing duck duck goose and spacing out so that when you get tagged you don't really realize it and you fuck the whole thing up. i have game issues. a contar, socialstudies, and open up my head, you're tagged if you're into procrastination and good clean fun.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

i'll whine, you dine.

i had a sad thought today. i thought about last year's final day and how happy and hopeful i was for the summer. it seems like my job is the constant and everything else comes together then falls apart around it. scary.
i also realized today, fifteen minutes before my doctor appointment, that my four page check list includes about 10 pages of reading that explicitly stressed my grades were due by 4 pm. fuck. i guess i should have read the ten pages. so there i was, standing on one foot (the other is in a caste), skimming this horrendous packet and calling my doctor's office to cancel. i spent hours figuring out the logistics of the list and i'll return for more grandiose pleasure tomorrow. plus, i have to move shit in my room and i really only have one good foot. this is when living in the same city as your parents comes in handy. can i say mom? yes i can.
on another note, i had a little run in while attempting to habla en espanol. i have lots of native speakers in my fourth period class and i was attempting to speak spanish while grading their finals. at one point i said, "oh ricardo, este pagina es muy mal." he jumped up and said, "ms., you just said something dirty." "no i didn't," i said, shaking my head. "i said this pagina, like this page, es muy mal, is bad. you know, because you missed 10 out of 12." he began to laugh nervously and then told his friends what i said. "no ms!" another boy corrected. "you must accent the a because that's something else if you don't. you know, it has to do with a woman." let's keep in mind that vs are pronounced softly like bs and then throw in my crappy pronunciation so that the p actually sounded like a b, or...yes, a v. two of my bilingual girls giggled and giggled. "oh," i said. "next time i'll just use the word page."

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

keep on keepin on

::warm fuzzies::

today my kids and i sat around after finals just shootin the shit. i talked with one senior who's particularly interesting. she's from east la and has a different perspective on life, to say the least. then one girl announced she's getting a breast reduction and the small group of girls and i launched in to girl talk. i'm always reluctant to cross boundaries with my kids (more like paranoid) and i'm not a teacher who talks about her personal life with her students. i remember in high school we had this teacher who cried daily about her ex-husband so we consoled her and got out of learning spanish. we were elated. with my new single status and a particularly painful breakup, i understand the desire to cry in class. sometimes the personal just wants to spill over into the professional. i've cried once this year and i couldn't believe it. i'm usually pretty good at holdin it in, thank you very much. anyway, i had a good time shootin the shit with my kids today.

on another note, my fucking world history kids are failing their fucking final. i'm super irritated by this because these little mofos were given a final review very similar to the final exam. and i mean, very fucking similar. so there is no excuse for my final grades of 29 and 35. so next year i'm not giving a final review that's similar to the test. if they are going to fail, i might as well hold the class up to my standards. i have to pass them anyway. because this is the Age of Enablement.

summer school starts in a week. i worked on curriculum for the district and i have to present it. i hate presenting to teachers. they are the worst students, myself included.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

late night thoughts

because i excel at procrastination, i dove into the world of edublogs and have just resurfaced. one consistent topic, at least with the newbies, is the question of student accountability and the hope for a changing tide in Education. i don't know enough about the history or culture of education in the usa, but i do know that veteran teachers in my high school repeatedly shake their heads and wonder how "things got to be this way." one blogger wrote that he is waiting for the pendulum to swing. i find that i'm waiting for that a lot these days. i guess i'm questioning the length of the trajectory and praying that there is actually a pendulum. don't get me wrong, i love teaching. but i don't love the system, which is corrupted by the weight of enabling and finger pointing.